Cheating Is Not A Relationship Rite of Passage, It’s a Character Flaw

We don’t get to the honest love we want by accepting deceit in its’ place

If I have to be cheated on in order to have a marriage worth bragging about, then it’s probably time I accept that marriage is not for me. We tend to skate over the specifics when we talk about the “ups and downs” of marriage and how they can make or break a relationship, but what we’re really talking about is the acknowledgment that in order to enjoy the best of our partners, we often must first survive the worst of them. And for Black women, the reality often comes with or without the acknowledgment.

I made it about an episode and a half into OWN Network’s hit series, “Black Love”, before I recognized the common theme, infidelity. I couldn’t help but to be offended by the forced correlation between the two concepts, love and infidelity, that is. I listened to Todd and Alicia Taylor, and DL and Donna Hughley round out an episode with stories of side babies, countless affairs, a murdered mistress, trial separations, arson, armed robbery, and a pair of hands nailed to a wooden board, and I thought to myself, is this a true testament to the durability of Black love? We know people are capable of change, but change doesn’t always call for chaos, does it? Isn’t the uneventful, unprovoked change just as valuable as the kind you drag…