Children Are Having Tough Conversations, Just Not With Their Parents

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My childhood was riddled with a million variations of the phrase “Children should be seen and not heard.” By elementary school, I all but whispered my questions, never sure which were appropriate to ask, typically being told to “Speak up!” before told to quiet down. The age-old saying of children being seen and not heard originates in England, dating back to the 15th century. Found in a centuries-old collection of homilies written by a religious man named John Mirk around the year 1450, the phrase originally served as a reminder to young women, specifically, to keep quiet. My guess is that it didn’t take long for England’s parents to realize little boys were equally as inquisitive and, over time, the phrase became a catchall for all young voices, regardless of gender. Through the years, the phrase remained a barometer for the well-behaved.

I can recall being compared to the talkative children as a child, I was immediately labeled the more respectful, well-mannered child when truthfully I was just more afraid of the ramifications of using my voice. I had questions, tons of them, but in my experience, I’d have an easier time getting alcohol than I would answers. And so I, like many children, sought answers elsewhere. Big mistake.