Member-only story
Patriarchy Doesn’t Work Without Women
And Black Women are Working Overtime
I learned about misogyny from my mother. I was seven years old at the time. One day after church, I overheard her and three of the other church mothers discussing my big sister, Temi, how she’d snuck out the other night to attend a high school party and gotten caught up in some “mess” by “mess” they meant sexual assault. Initially, I thought, nothing to hear here, rebellion was a recurring theme for teenaged Temi. But the conversation casually took a twist as they all agreed that this time, in particular, Temi was sure to have learned her lesson.
“Now I know you don’t let them girls go nowhere near nobody’s house party.” One of them consoled my mother, who was only a victim of the Black church’s abuse.
“Sheila, I said the same thing!” Another chimed in. “’Cause everybody know Dorothy’s daughters are usually so well behaved!”
“Well,” my mother interrupted, “you can warn your children about the world all you want, but the Bible says Satan is busy!”
“Yes, he is!” Another waved her Bible above her head.
“I don’t know what’s gotten into these young girls, skirt hiked up, breast spilling out, just unbecoming of a young woman. No self-respect.”
“I tell you one thing,” my mother added, “you go…
