Stop Asking Dark-Skinned Black People Who Hurt Them, It Was Us

A friend sent me a really disturbing video the other day. In it, a young dark-skinned Black man spoke about not wanting dark-skinned children. As the interviewer probed as to why he wouldn’t want children with his complexion, the young man struggled to piece his words together. Visibly uneasy, he offered deflections like, “This a once in a lifetime thing”, and “This a dark ass shade”. As he smiled through his discomfort, nervously repositioning himself in his seat, the interviewer pressed further. “Don’t you want your children to look like you?”, he asked. The young man paused before hesitantly huffing, “Yeah”. I didn’t believe him, I don’t think he believed himself. The entire exchange was cringeworthy at best, but not nearly as cringeworthy as the comments.

Viewers were eager to diagnose the young man with a serious case of self-hate. Under the video, people expressed their disappointment. Comments like “This dude is sick”, and “He obviously doesn’t love himself”, cluttered the screen. “He grown and still ain’t gotten over being teased”, one viewer vocalized, to which others responded with laughter and applause. Hundreds of viewers questioned why he didn’t love himself, asking nonchalantly, “Who hurt you, friend?”. I thought to myself, how could it get any more obvious who’d hurt him? It was us.