Stop Demanding Performative Blackness from Other Black People

Our Blackness is no more a costume than it is a curriculum

Source: Thomas Barwick / Getty

There are a million and one ways to be Black, or so I’ve heard. It’s too bad it doesn’t feel like it. Between the unofficial, unspoken cookout rules (invite only), the required affliction for fried chicken, and the obligatory two-step to Montell Jordan’s “This Is How We Do It,” no matter how many times it’s played, it’s no wonder being Black doesn’t come with a beginners manual.

I came across a lengthy thread in a Black travel group started by a poster who was sick and tired of other Black travelers violating one crucial negro ordinance, the one that requires us to nod in open acknowledgment whenever passing one another in public. The comment section was full of people proclaiming that the head nod simply wasn’t optional, arguing its’ significance was cultural, not just courtesy. I thought to myself, don’t Black people have the right to exist in public and private spaces without performing their blackness for anyone, including each other? Perhaps there are too many rules to being Black, and if that is in fact the case, then it’s no surprise that Black people continue to find new ways to express their blackness. Aren’t rules meant to be broken?