Surviving Trauma Doesn’t Make You An Expert on Healing

Congratulations, you’ve survived your trauma. Now it’s time to heal from it.

My childhood was pretty traumatic. I say pretty before I say traumatic because I’ve convinced myself that it takes the sting out of things. But generally speaking, candidly speaking, my childhood wasn’t full of memories you’d want to remember. Sure, growing up with nine siblings was fun (sometimes) and there were lots of other kids on my street to play with, but there were also lots of late-night shootings, gang-related deaths, violent attacks, armed robberies, rapes, and unsolved crimes happening on a consistent basis. My pretty little childhood gifted me a pretty little anxiety disorder to go along with my pretty big trauma. But as time passed and the trauma appeared further away in the mirror of my memories, my coping skills started to look a lot like more like character. I had forgotten how trauma hardened me into the person I became, I allowed myself to believe my experiences molded me into a stronger, tougher, more durable version of myself because that pill was easier to swallow. I had survived my trauma but I wasn’t any better for it, nor was I in any position to guide anyone else through theirs. I couldn’t hide the fact that I was wounded behind my wokeness or my womanhood or any other deflection. I had survived my trauma but that had nothing to do with healing from…