Why Your Children Should Never Come First In Your Marriage

Foreword: The topic discussed in this article is a sensitive one. This piece is in no way intended to condemn or to chastise. Instead, my hope is to spark much-needed conversation around the state of marriage in our community. My only request is that you read the piece (in its entirety) with an open mind.
-Arah

“Nobody Comes Before My Kids” is a statement I’ve encountered in my community more times than I can count. I guess I just always assumed it referred to the outside world. And why wouldn’t my son come before some stranger on the street, right? Well, the other day I learned that my interpretation was way off when a friend posed the question:

“If a woman marries a man who is not the biological father of her child, who comes first? Spouse or child?”

Almost unanimously the group chat lit up with comments proclaiming that children come before any spouse, biological or otherwise. Period.

The overwhelming justification, well spouses can leave at any time, but children are forever. I was flabbergasted. In what world were children actually children forever? Where did people…